The hardest thing about my divorce was the very acrimonious court battle over the custody of our son Charlie. This struggle has cost me a frightening amount of money and has cost me my business, my home and almost my life. And all because I wanted to see my son.
I consider myself a reasonable man and all I wanted was access to Charlie, to be part of his life. What I got was a son that was so brain washed against me that he was terrified of me. In the end I gave up my struggle for his sake, I could not see him pulled this way and that any longer.
I am writing a book about my struggle which helped me cope with the experience and I hope that it will help other people in a similar situation. Writing about my experience has given me a sense of control that had been so lacking in my life for such a long time.
In the end though I had to think that the most important thing was Charlie and I will have to bide my time until he is older when maybe he can make up his own mind whether or not he wants to get to know me. In the mean time, I try to enjoy my life as best I can. I have made new friends and am in a new relationship. I still think about Charlie every day and keep in touch with his progress through his school, and one day, I really hope we will be able to rebuild our shattered relationship.
If this resonates with you and you’d like support, talk about this and other parenting issues here and here. Also see www.separateddads.co.uk.